Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Making Myself Feel Better

It's that time of my cycle again.  Things are not going well.  I found out I might be losing my job.  I'm already on rocky financial ground, and losing my job pretty much just breaks me.  So, in addition to taking the time to apply to any job that provides a salary, I'm sowing the seeds of good karma.

The worse I feel, the more inclined I am to do nice things for other people.  I'm making a list of people I want to send something to, no matter how small.

There's a woman at my church who stops me every Sunday and says, "Trin you darling girl.  You're so wonderful."  Every Sunday.  The first few times I heard her say it, I kind of shrugged it off.  She's just that nice. She'd probably have a readied hug and a compliment for everyone.  But after enough Sundays, I realized that seeing and hearing her just made my day.  If Miss Millie said I was amazing, I darn well must be.  She loves wearing flower pins. So I'm going to make her one. (This is the pattern I ended up picking: A flower brooch)

There's a little, old lady (also at my church) who I didn't see this last Sunday.  I hope she's okay.  I realized yesterday that she reminds me of my great-grandmother.  I once wrote her a postcard when she was in the hospital, and she hugged me a few weeks later with tears in her eyes.  She'll be getting another letter, and a tiny tatted butterfly.

I've also decided I'll be donating at least 6 hats to a hospital on my birthday, or thereabouts.  It doesn't seem like much, but it's a start.  I want to do something positive in the world, and there are always going to be little ones who need a handmade hat.

And oddly, despite all the possibly terrible things that may be upcoming, I feel sort of at peace.  It's a nice change.

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